Northern Wyoming Daily News - Serving the Big Horn Basin for over 100 years

By Alex Kuhn
Sports Editor 

Hear me out...Predictions for the next 99 years

 

August 19, 2017

COURTESY/ MGN

I know reading or hearing the word eclipse might induce a state of nausea but hang with me we're almost through this. Monday will be here soon enough and we can take in the natural phenomena for all its glory. 

The weekend will bring many tourists and if you feel the rage begin building up as they wander aimlessly on the road or at the store, use the sounds of a casino to bring you back down. Because when it is all said and done they'll be on their way leaving a sizable chunk of change here in our state. 

The last time a solar eclipse stretched across the continental U.S. was on June 8, 1918. When World War I was coming to a close, Babe Ruth was still a Boston Red Sox and the U.S. was only 48 states strong. 

During those 99 years (rounding up!) Allied Forces defeated the Axis Powers in WWII, we've gotten closer to honoring the words of the Constitution, e.g. the Civil Rights and Women's Suffrage movements, life expectancy in the U.S. has gone from 39.4 to 78.8 years (1918 life expectancy was impacted by WWI but mostly by the Spanish Influenza Pandemic), the world population has increased by over 5 billion, we've gone to the moon, the U.S. has survived three economic collapses, professional sports have become billion dollar industries and we've been to the moon, the MOON guys.

And those are just a few of the notable events over the last 99 years and who knows what will happen in next 99 years ... I think you know where this is going.

Here are predictions, mostly sports but a few random predictions sprinkled in, for the next 99 years.

• (There is no linear order to these predictions; I'm going to be jumping around quite a bit.)

• The Coner McGregor/Floyd Mayweather fight is going to be a boring disaster. Mayweather will win and both men will continue to be awful human beings.

• LeBron James will win one more NBA title but as a Los Angeles Laker. Cementing his legacy as the second greatest NBA player of all-time.

• Roger Goodell will "step down" as NFL commissioner. As part of his deal with the NFL owners to leave, Goodell will receive a Super PAC, he'll run for Congress, win and all non-football people will understand the pain football fans endured.

• Condoleezza Rice will replace Goodell and become an instant favorite because she is not Roger Goodell.

• America's Got Talent will continue to pick the wrong winners annoying me each and every year, yet I will keep watching because I am a dope.

• The Golden State Warriors will hit the 75-win mark in one of the next two seasons. Bringing everyone to the realization that that mark will never be topped therefore bringing the NBA and NBAPA to agree on reducing the NBA regular season to 70-games.

• LOST will be rebooted much to the excitement of this sports guy.

• The Jacksonville Jaguars will be the first team to go 19-0.

• Tom Brady, Bill Belichick will win one more Super Bowl together just to annoy all the Patriot-haters. Belichick will win a Super Bowl without Brady sending those same Pats-haters into a state of weeping and gnashing of teeth that hasn't been seen since Biblical times.

• LeBron James Jr. will have six NBA titles to his name by the end of his career. Those championships will come as a role player and he'll be the Robert Horry of his era. This still won't stop those from saying he's better than his father, sending a bunch of crusty sports fans, i.e. me, into a fit of rage.

• After no one is willing to bribe them, the International Olympic Committee will be forced to return to their mission statement of bringing countries and people together over the shared interest in sport.

• Bill Self will guide the Kansas Jayhawks to two more Nationals Championships before he calls it a career. He will also be upset by mid-major scrubs eight more times during that span.

• The series finale of Game of Thrones will be lackluster. Creators of the TV series D.B Weiss and David Benioff will be blamed for messing up author George R. R. Martin's vision.

• George R. R. Martin will finish the Game of Thrones books 10 years after the show has been off the air, the ending will still be lackluster, but people will continue to blow smoke up Martin's butt.

• The concussion heavy sports of football and soccer will drop-off in popularity, leading to the rise of handball.

• Handball will become the next major professional sport.

• Athletes retiring to spend more time with their families but stage a comeback a year later will continue to be one of the most underrated/unintentionally funny things in sports.

• As a nation we will come together and rise up to take down Big Kale, because kale is awful.

• The NCAA will pay their money sport athletes in Prussian Francs. When those athletes try to sell their francs for actual money they will be deemed ineligible by the NCAA.

• The Cleveland Browns will be the first team to go 20-1.

• The Yankees Empire will return, increasing TV ratings as everyone roots for their downfall.

• Mark Zuckerberg's son and/or daughter will try to succeed where their father failed, creating the world's first A.I. system. The experiment will go wrong and the machines will take control, creating human/machine hybrids bringing an end to homo sapiens.

 
 

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