Football is dead to me.

Life is meaningless.

All there is to existence is the forsaken black abyss.

That clinically depressed donkey from "Winnie the Pooh" nailed the human experience.

...

...

...

Blah.

Shaking out of it.

My beloved Jacksonville Jaguars 24-20 loss to the Patriots still stings. So close to the Super Bowl, if two plays go the Jags way we're having a different conversation and my happy-go-lucky disposition is back. But to quote one of my favorite shows of all-time, "The Wire," "You come at the King you best not miss."

Unfortunately, the Jags missed, not by much, but still a miss.

For the record I'm not on the "Patriots are buddies with the refs" bandwagon, there were bad calls and missed calls, but they didn't decide the game. Honestly, I didn't think the refs were bad. There was only one call I disagreed with and that was when Jags LB Myles Jack stripped Pats RB Deion Lewis. The play shouldn't have been blown dead because by the time Jack had possession of the ball Lewis hadn't touched him and the play was still live. But it is understandable why, it was a bang-bang play and Jack being super-human who made the tackle, stripped the ball, recovered it and popped up and headed the other way, all in one motion.

What decided the game were the Jags self-inflicted errors. I could go through the entire list, but I do need to get to my Super Bowl pick. Instead, I'll just list the two important ones.

Starting with No. 2, Blake Bortles underthrow to Dede Westbrook on their final drive of the game. Bortles had Westbrook open on what would have set them up to run clock and punch in the game-winning score.

Although Bortles came up short, I hope the Jags bring him back. I am a VIP member of the Bortles Experience; I've made plenty of jokes at his expense and have wished they'd gotten rid of him multiple times. But what he showed this season and more importantly in playoffs, I want him to stay in teal and black. When the Pats picked up the game's final first down and they cut to Bortles fighting back tears, I loved that. I know it's clichéd but he gave a damn and it's refreshing to see professional athletes wear their emotions on their sleeves from time to time.

Back on course.

The biggest reason the Jags lost was the delay of game with 2:23 left in the second quarter. When it happened I was worried that would come back to haunt them and it absolutely did. The penalty wiped out a 12-yard gain and first down on a Marcedes Lewis reception and put them in a third-and-long. Adding salt to the wound, the Pats called a timeout the play before, so for the Jags to get a delay of game was mind-boggling.

If the Jags get that play off, they force the Pats to burn their final timeout by running the clock, at worst they get a field goal going up 17-3, at best, a TD to take a 21-3 lead. Then get they get the ball at halftime after perfectly using Belichick's 2-for-1 strategy against him.

If only, if only, if only...

Enough complaining about the Jags loss, on to the pick!

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES VS. THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (-4.5)

Congrats to the Eagles franchise and their fans for making everyone look so foolish for picking anyone but them. The Vikings looked like a team of destiny after the "Minneapolis Miracle" but the Eagles quickly, and brutally if I might add, dismantled that narrative.

I really enjoyed the celebration videos in Philly, they were wild. The streets of Philly looked like something pulled from "The Purge" movies.

How will this Super Bowl play out? I have no idea. I have felt out of rhythm all playoffs.

But there are two things I am confident about, first, the safest prop bet is "How long will Pink sing the National Anthem?" over/under 120 seconds, take the over. And the Pats opening as 6-point favorites was absurd, which is why everyone took the free points and it's down to 4.5.

Four-and-a-half points is still a bit high, especially when you consider last year's 34-28 Super Bowl win for the Pats was their largest margin of victory in the game. Other than that they've won by three points, three points, three points and four points. This game will also come down to a field goal or less.

I want to break down the Super Bowl matchup in detail but my calls have been so off, I think it's time to go back to shooting from the hip, it worked last year.

The Pats will have a healthy Gronk and he

will terrorize the Eagles for much of the game

but Philly’s D, particularly their front seven, will

cause enough havoc throwing Brady off and getting him to do that weird ducking move he does

when he’s been hit too many times. You know the

one that looks like he’s trying to sidestep a ghost.

Nick Foles and the rest of the Eagles offense

will execute by putting points on the board because I’m not sure if you noticed during the AFC

championship, but the Pats defense doesn’t scare

anyone. (Good luck with Matt Patricia Lions

fans!)

After the Eagles defeat the Patriots, the popular hot take will be, “Should Philly trade QB

Carson Wentz?” (The team’s starter and MVP

candidate before going out with an ACL injury

in Week 14) No. No, they should not and anyone who suggests rolling with Foles over Wentz

because of a nice three-game stretch should be

required to wear a dunce cap for the remainder of

their life. You don’t give up on a franchise QB because a high-end journeyman didn’t screw things

up for you.

Pick: Eagles 24, Patriots 21

Last Week: Terrible

Overall: Horrible

Against the spread: Atrocious